


The Wrong Words

by The_Shy_Chimera



Category: Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, IVF, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-16
Updated: 2018-06-16
Packaged: 2019-05-24 02:49:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14946171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Shy_Chimera/pseuds/The_Shy_Chimera
Summary: When you choose to have an IVF baby, your best friend Tom is the last person you would expect to oppose your decision. But he does, and you're left to rethink everything.When he comes back around, will he be too late?





	The Wrong Words

**Author's Note:**

> English isn't my first language, so if you notice typos or errors, feel free to point them out.  
> Comments are always welcome.

Your phone was in front of you on the table, its screen staring at you. You wanted nothing more than to call him.

No, not the guy that stood you up tonight. You wanted to call your best friend. Tom.

The British man was rapidly gaining the title of “only worthy man on the planet”. Really, tonight’s asshole pursued you for a whole month and now that you accepted his invitation to dinner, he vanished.

Yet, something stopped you from dialing Tom’s number and vent to him about this last evening. It was sort of a grey, muddy thing at the bottom of your chest: a weight that took residence in there some time ago and shifted uncomfortably in situations like this.

You pocketed the phone and paid for the only drink of the evening, then headed home.

You were feeling quite melancholic, and as upsetting as the cancelled date was, it still wasn’t the reason of your mood. The grey muddy thing was.

Once you were nestled in your spot on the couch, wrapped in a cocoon of blankets and with a large mug of steaming tea in your hands, you finally embraced the quest to pinpoint what exactly was going on with you. It took surprisingly little time.

Your thirtieth birthday was around the bend. The grey thing pulled lazily.

You hadn’t had a serious relationship in three years, and not because you didn’t try. Another pull. More forceful. Yeah, you knew you missed someone with whom share your time, thank you very much. But it still wasn’t the main point.

Your eyes caught the framed picture of your last family reunion and focused on the brightest detail of the whole little crowd: your cousin’s radiant smile as her husband kept an arm wrapped around her middle and their hands intertwined on the rounding belly she sported so happily.

The gray muddy thing pulled so hard you let out a sob.

Yup. There it was. Guilty as hell.

You loved your family wholeheartedly, and you were ecstatic for your cousin’s growing family, but you couldn’t help to wonder what kind of sensations having a child growing in _your_ belly would give you. What it would be like to hold a little bundle in your arms and detect his similarities to _you_ in his traits. How elated you would have been at his every success in growing up: the first steps, first words, first drawings…And the gray thing took a darker blueish shade as the fear of never having the occasion to experience all of that settled in.

After all, you couldn’t find a man interested in you enough to ask you out for more than a few months, let alone the years it would take to raise a child.

You wrapped yourself tighter in your blankets and lied down on the couch, drawing your knees up and shedding some self-pity-fueled tears until you drowsed off. A few hours later, in the middle of the night, you bolted up, struck by an idea as sudden and bright as a lightening in your foul-mooded night. You even let out a triumphant chuckle and let yourself fall back on the cushions with a smile on your face. Then your sleep was blissfully peaceful until morning.

When you woke up you wasted no time before focusing on your solution. And of course, as you always did for life-changing choices, you considered pros and cons.

Having a baby all by yourself would be twice as tiring as having a baby with a partner.

On the other hand, you knew for sure your family would support you in any way they could.

Every expense would have been only on you.

But you had a more-than-well-payed job and having to sustain only yourself allowed you to save quite a lot, in the past years.

People pulled sort of a face at single moms.

Fuck them all.

List completed, you threw yourself in the most detailed research of hospitals, neighborhoods, schools, baby-products and parental guides possible. You ordered a couple of books, as a start. Then came the step of searching the right IVF agency. It would have taken up at least a few weeks. You remembered one of the women who worked for you had her sister searching for the same kind of agency, a year and a half ago, and you were set on asking her for some advice.

Which reminded you, you still had people to whom answer to, and you should have informed them as soon as your plans solidified.

With your roughly set up program, you felt happier than what you had been in months. As if sensing it, your phone rang and a picture of your best friend lightened up the screen.

<<Hi, Tom!>> you smiled in the device.

<<Hello to you, too, darling. You seem elated! Was the date that good?>> maybe it was just an impression, but there seemed to be an edge in his voice at the last question. Well, he saw you as a sister; he was still a bit uncomfortable thinking about you in the kind of date-situation that would make you so joyful in the morning.

<<Oh, no! The idiot bailed on me. No. I’m happy because of a new…project.>>

<<That guy doesn’t know what he missed. But you’re dangerous when you’re this chirpy. Should I worry?>>

<<No! You should be happy, too! I’ll tell you as soon as I’ve arranged it. This time it will be big!>>

<<Well, now you’ve got me interested. Will you be ready to spill the beans when I return in a few months?>>

<<Most probably. Do I have to consider myself booked for a tea party in Hiddleston Manor?>>

<<You sure do, ma’am! I can’t wait to see you. I miss London so much.>>

<<Cheer up, Mr. Hiddleston! You have no time and no reason to feel homesick! You love your role too much to miss anything back here! Now get up and get out enjoying Asgard!>>

<<Aye, aye, Captain! Take care!>>

<<I always do, Tom! Good luck for the day! Love you.>>

<<Love you, too. Bye.>>

*+*+*+*+*+*

You were dead tired, but totally satisfied. It had been the last day of arrangements, now it was only a matter of delivering the news to your best friend. You finally found the perfect donor and set a date. It was happening. And Tom was going to be back tomorrow. Sprawled on your couch, you still couldn’t believe how everybody took your decision so well. Your family went crazy, and it was amazing. They still worried, especially your parents, but your brothers swore, with a hand on their hearts, that they’d be the best uncles in the world for the “Little Fella” so he would never need a father. When you asked your colleague for her sister’s advices, she was so moved for you that she almost cried. Ok, then you had to spend the next two weeks discussing with your boss about how the parenthood would not automatically make you incapable of work. That was an exhausting bit of the big plan, but after days of treaties and compromises, today you had finally signed a good agreement.

And now you were waiting for the morning to come and bring your best friend back home.

The Clinique called for a last minute pack of papers to sign, so you missed on Tom’s arrival at the airport. You weren’t sure it was a bad thing: there were always some paparazzi and fans ready to take pictures and the last time the two of you got caught together by one of them it was like all hell broke loose. Tom understood. You would stop on the road to buy some pastries for your traditional “Welcome back Tea Party for Two”, he had texted you right away when he landed to invite you over.

When you arrived, he didn’t waste a second and wrapped you in a warm hug, smiling from ear to ear.

<<Hello to you, too, Tom!>> you laughed, trying to balance the box of sweets in your hand. He loosened the hold and leaned back a little, greeting you. That move allowed you to notice how much muscles he had grown during his time away. He looked amazing. His usual light blue shirt seemed tighter on his shoulders and it made his back look fabulous while he preceded you in the kitchen.

<<Have you buffed up?>>

Apparently, that was the right question, because he smiled widely and threw himself in a detailed report of the months he was away. He flailed his hands energetically, during his favorite parts of the story and his baby-blue eyes shined when he recalled some funny anecdotes and pranks he and Chris played on the set. The only moment he stopped talking was when you reminded him that his tea was cooling too much. He gulped it down in the beat of an eye and continued his story about how Hugh Laurie had him almost jumping out of his skin while filming a scene for _The Night Manager_. He was so excited about all his works and the people he met; when Tom told a story, you could stay there and listen to him forever. He would have made an amazing professor…And an incredible father, when the time would come for him to find a girl for himself and settle down. The though you wouldn’t have all this time to spend together left a bitter taste on the back of your mouth, but your mind had already skipped over. In the near future, maybe he could have some spare time to tell some stories to your baby. Your child would love him as much as you did.

<<Darling? Are you still with me?>> Tom waved his hand in front of your face and you started.

<<Sorry! I lost tracks for a moment…I’m back! What was it about Mark Ruffalo and Hemsworth’s children?>> your friend chuckled and shook his head. He focused back on you, piercing your eyes with his blue irises.

<<Nevermind. What about you, instead? I talked so much and I know nothing of what you did till now. You told me over and over about a project… Can I finally know what it is?>> he was so curious and his attention brought back all your trepidation. You felt your own smile widening on your face.

<<Ok, but sit down first and hold on!>>

<<That big? Is it really that big?>> he mocked dramatically and you swatted his bicep. He chuckled, but complied.

<<So…I told you about that guy, a couple of months ago…>> Tom frowned darkly.

<<The one who stood you up…Yes, what of that one?>>

<<I have no idea. I haven’t talked to him since. But that night made me realize something.>> dismissed the Idiot topic, Tom was serene again and his eyes sparkled with interest once more. His chin moved forward a little. That gesture always gave away his curiosity and prompted you to go on.

<<I realized that I’m almost thirty, and while I don’t feel old at all, yet, I also know that I’ll never have as many energies as I have now, in the future, and I’m not going to waste any more of them on searching for a man to share my not-so-energetic future anymore. One thing you and my brothers taught me is that there’s more to males than blokes and assholes, and that the only ones worthy my attention are your kind…>> did he just? You could have sworn that he just hold his breath…but no, he had his normal expression on. You continued.

<<But since I seem to have used all my share of decent men on my family and my best friend, who I wouldn’t change for anyone in the world…>> you threw him a smile, but he seemed a little off again.

<<Well, I decided that I don’t need a boyfriend to have the family I’ve always wanted. I’ve made all the arrangements already and chose a donor: _I’m going to have an IVF baby_! The procedure will be in eight weeks and I’m so happy you’re here on time! I know I could have told you on the phone, but it didn’t feel right, you know? You should see the projects for the baby’s room! They’re so cute, I can’t wait to find out if it will be a boy or a girl! Oh, my dad and my brothers are all rooting for a boy, but, who knows? What do you… >>

After the announcement, you couldn’t hold back and were rambling excitedly, spilling everything that passed through your mind, but doing so you completely missed the expression on Tom’s face.

Now you saw it, though. And it was as if someone had stabbed him while drowning a kitten before his eyes. It was breathless, pained, horrified and angered at the same time. Your heart turned into stone and crashed on your stomach.

<<Tom, are you alright?>> you made to hold his hand but he flinched away and bolted up. You stood up as well. Something was very, very wrong. Dread threatened to choke you as he paced like a caged jaguar.

<<Alright!? How am I expected to be alright!? How can you say something like that so carelessly? As if it is nothing!? How did it even crossed your mind such an idea!? And your family? Why the hell didn’t they stop you!? They’re smart people, they should see…>> he barked.

Every word was a stab in the most vulnerable part of your soul, but when he mentioned your family that way, after all the support they and everybody else gave you, your temper flared as well.

<<See what!?>> you snapped back. <<See how happy this would make me? See how much I care for this? How much preparation I put into it!? I’m not careless, Tom! I’ve never been and you know it! I’ve thought about this, I’ve discussed all the options, I’ve made all the best arrangements possible. My family did what they thought was right: they supported me in something I’ve wanted for years!>>

The withering stare he gave you stopped any other word from escaping your mouth. He looked at you as if he hated you.

Under that stare, any anger vanished, any pain subdued, any wounded pride…You were too appalled for any of that. And when he spoke…Later you would have been grateful for that daze, because if you had registered his growled words right then in that kitchen…

<<It’s disgusting. That will just be some stranger’s thing: it will never be a child. I thought you were smarter.>>

Even though you didn’t register the words, the tone alone prompted you to retreat out of that horrible kitchen and out of the front door. When Tom called you back, you were already wobbling down the sidewalk. You went on and almost got yourself ran over by the taxi you wanted to stop. The driver yelled at you but you didn’t hear him, you just wanted to go home, in your baby’s room and make sure this wasn’t a dream about to vanish like it seemed.

It was only when you were home, in your dream-child still unpainted room, that your brain finally caught up with the events. Every single word of the last phrase Tom shouted in your face was designed to cut you down and burn like hell.

Disgusting. Stranger. Thing. Never a child. Smarter.

Your legs gave out and the next moment you were crying on the floor. You cried so much you barely remembered anything else. Suddenly you weren’t in the baby’s room anymore, but in the bathroom. You cried so much you threw up and then all over again. At some point you must have fallen asleep, because the next thing that happened was the bell ringing you awake.

You got up from the carpet with a groan and washed face and mouth, then stumbled to the door and spied out. Thank God, it wasn’t Tom. You let your brother and his fiancée in.

<<What the Hell! You look like shit!>> your ever loving, ever delicate and mannered brother exclaimed. Your going-to-be sister elbowed him and hugged you.

<<What’s wrong, sweetheart?>>

You couldn’t bring yourself to describe what happened with Tom. You just told them you had a talk with him and now you weren’t sure if you were doing the right thing. Sensing the delicacy of the moment, your future sister-in-law eclipsed herself in another room.

<<He knows me better than anyone else does. Sorry, little brother, but it’s true…If he thinks that way, maybe it’s because he sees something I don’t. Maybe I’m not suited to have a child. I don’t want to have a baby if I can’t be a good mother. But I… I thought I had planned everything. I thought I knew all I needed to know…What have I missed? Clearly there’s something. He wouldn’t be so angry if there wasn’t, right? So tell me. Please! What is it I don’t see? I can’t get it on my own, but if something is wrong you have to tell me! I’m not making the biggest mistake of my life, am I?>> you were on the verge of tears once again.

Your brother intervened quickly and firmly.

<<Nothing is wrong with you, your wishes, your plans or anything else.>> he stated, pinning you with a confident stare that comforted you a little bit.

<<You will be a wonderful mother, and you will be because it is in your nature, not because of how anybody else sees you. Even though all of us think you will do great… It is fine for you to have doubts, now. Everything is coming true and I understand it can be scary, but the only opinion you should listen to is your own. Nobody else has the right or knows you enough to take that decision for you, it doesn’t matter how close you are. So, please, breathe now. And take a shower and eat something. Get your forces back and think only about yourself. Let out anybody else’s voice. Study your projects all over again, if it helps you. Do anything you need to do, and then decide. Nobody forces you to do anything: if at the end you’re still set on having your baby, it will be perfect. I’ll be the happiest uncle ever. If you choose to wait, or to call the whole thing off, it will be just as fine. I’ll be the luckiest younger brother. In both cases, I’ll be equally proud of you for your strength.>>

You weren’t sure of his words, at the beginning. But listening to him, you found your resolve again. All the crying and shock just wasn’t you. You were still confused and Tom’s words didn’t hurt any less; yet, you had regained your focus and you swore to yourself you would not lose it again. You still needed one last advice, though.

<<What about Tom? He was really cross with this. You should have heard him. Maybe I should try to speak with him again…>>

<<I don’t think it will help, sis. The news probably just took him by surprise, and he was tired from traveling, still, right? You have nothing to apologize for. Just give him some time to wrap his mind around it and he’ll be back.>> it sounded like a lie, but your brother was giving his best to comfort you, so you let it go. After all, it _could_ happen.

<<Ok. Yeah, he’ll get over it in a few days…Thank you, you just saved my day.>> his answer was a bone-crushing hug that you returned with equal intensity.

When the two lovebirds left, you did what your brother told you and soon regained your confidence. You really wanted the baby and all of what came with it. You were ready: you felt surer every time you studied your projects and documents over again. You read them so much that by dinnertime you knew them by heart. You had made your decision. Doubts returned, the following weeks, but they never got you down again. As the big day neared, though, the lack of your best friend presence gained more and more weight in your mind. As sure as you were of the procedure, Thomas’s absence ate away almost all the joy, and as stress for the last minute arrangements arose, your mood hit progressively lower points.

He never called; he never came looking for you at home. He vanished from your world for eight whole weeks.

You didn’t cry for his anger anymore. But you still had reason to cry for the loss of him. And that’s what you did, because tomorrow you were going to face the biggest change of your life and after all the time you spent together, he didn’t care enough to be by your side. You had given all your heart to him: all your secrets, and hopes and memories. You had put your soul in his hands. You loved him so. Trusted him so. And he didn’t care.

It hurt so f***ing much.

*+*+*+*+*+*

Your mother had moved in with you to help you in the last week. As much as you tried to conceal your pain, she noticed how Tom’s avoidance affected you. When no news of him arrived by the Big Day’s Eve’s afternoon, she finally gave a call to your brothers to go and try to talk to your supposed friend.

*+*+*+*+*+*

 “I’m going to have an IVF baby!”

Tom closed the book in his hands with a loud snap.

Those words haunted his dreams and his days from the moment you spoke them.

Sat in his armchair, he recalled that afternoon once again. The conversation. It was going so well! You seemed content while listening to his ramblings and he prolonged them as much as he could just to see that soft smile on your face as he kept your rapt attention. Then you drifted off with such a glow on your face as you thought of something still mysterious to him. He had let you begin your tale, and he was so pleased with the initial outcome…

You had crossed another asshole off and you thought of him as one of the only good men in your life apart your family! Maybe you had finally realized how he felt about you!

But you had crushed that hope immediately.

“I’ve already used my share on my best friend, who I wouldn’t change”

How foolish of him to bring his hopes up at every little sign. He always misunderstood and it always hurt. But maybe this time…He was back for a long period of time: he had some local projects in theatres and British productions. It could be said he was here to stay, at least for a while. Maybe this time he could finally make his move.

Why did you have to involuntarily destroy his hopes as soon as they formed?

“I’m done searching for a companion…I don’t need a boyfriend to have a family…”

He had seen the bad news coming at that comment. Then you had dropped the Big One.

“I’m going to have an IVF baby!”

He shuddered for the thousandth time at the remembrance.

He could still see the irresistible glow of your expression, the unbound happiness radiating off your whole being as you announced that you were going to let a damn stranger give you a baby that should have been his. The mere notion of the procedure…You told they were going to use the IUI method, not the full IVF, since you didn’t have fertility problems...Which, to him, was worse. He was glad you were healthy, for God’s sake! But that meant that they would have put the stranger’s _seed_ inside you and…bile rose in his throat at the mere thought of some other scumbag’s…in your belly…to give you an unworthy man’s child…

He wouldn’t lie, he had thrown up more than once after researching the term on the internet.

He still had the instinct to, but he had learned to dismiss it in favor of white-hot rage. Burning hatred for whoever the “donor” was…Tom clenched his fists recalling the gentleness in your voice when you said that word, as if that No One was a real man in your life…

He hated that nameless man. He couldn’t bring himself to hate an unborn child, but he was pretty sure he wouldn’t like the little “bundle of joy” either.

What gnawed at him, though, was that his anger towards you for allowing such a thing to happen…for undertaking voluntarily such a procedure…was just an empty shell to cover his self-deprecation.

He knew exactly how much he had, and was still, hurting you. He knew you had every right to a family. He knew how amazing a mother you would make and how happy you were. Especially how happy motherhood was making you. God, your face as you told him…He could have died happy if he was ever responsible for such raw joy to lighten your face that way. He groaned, pressing the heels of his hands on his eyes.

He was the lowest bastard and the last of cowards.

God, was he ashamed of what he said that day…

But there was a hidden, vile part in him, probably linked to the one that hated your precious donor so fiercely, that was still hoping his behavior could prevent you from going on with your project. That you would have felt bad enough to stop.

He wanted to stab himself for thinking such a thing. The closest thing he had to the right punishment was drowning in self-hatred for the last eight weeks, crossing every day on the calendar, counting them down from the fateful one.

He still couldn’t muster the courage to face you and ask your forgiveness. If he did, he would have had to explain why he acted that way and he was just…too scared of losing you.

So scared of your refusal he preferred to let you hate him and think him an uncaring asshole, instead. That gnawed at him, too. Especially because he cared far too much. He wanted you well, healthy and happy. He was scared the IUI could have complications. Or the pregnancy. What if you lost the baby? You would have been devastated. What if carrying or birthing the baby harmed you? How…How could he face that, knowing your last conversation was the day he yelled at you that yours would never be a child to him?

He gulped down the last bit of scotch in the bottle. Bit by bit, he had downed all of it in the course of the last few evenings. He had to avoid thinking of how close the date was. Now barely a night away.

His doorbell rang and he bolted up.

Might it be you?

He opened without thinking, and found himself in front of your two sour-looking brothers. Shit. He had fucked up big time if they came.

<<You free, Hiddleston?>> your older brother asked, but it sounded more like a demand.

He let them in, but they didn’t move further than the foyer.

<<You can imagine why we’re here.>> shame surged inside him, followed closely by worry.

<<How is she?>>

<<Miserable but strong.>>

Yeah, you were a force of nature.

<<Tomorrow’s her big day.>> he noticed. A bitter taste on his tongue.

<<It is, and she’s spent the last weeks weeping on the only person she’d want by her side. She refused to have any of us accompany her.>> the accusation hit him like a punch.

<<I’m sorry. Believe me, I am. I don’t want to hurt her but I can’t get over the…thing.>>

<<You don’t have to. You have the right to think whatever you want about her choice, as long as you respect it. You didn’t, and it had her almost call everything off.>> Tom’s head turned so quickly his neck ached. You might have called it off just for him. He wasn’t sure how to feel about it. Not happy. No, he couldn’t be happy about it, remembering the joy on your face, that day.

<<She didn’t. She’s sure about her decision. Yet she’s been a sad mess for eight weeks now. You have the right to dislike what she’s doing and not care for her baby, but we know you. You’re a decent man and you care about our sister way more than a friend does. So, please, come see her tomorrow morning. She’ll understand if you don’t accompany her in the hospital, she just needs to know you’re not completely lost to her. And even if you are…Even if you don’t want to have anything to do with her anymore, then at least tell her yourself.>>

<<I don’t want to cut ties with her! I…I didn’t mean to hurt her, either. Are you sure she wants to see me after what I told her?>>

<<She cares for you as much as you care for her, Thomas. She missed you. You should come.>>

There was a long moment of silence, then the guests cleared their throats.

<<Well, we made our point. Good night, Tom.>>

After they left, he spent a lot of time thinking about their words and how should he act the next day. He wasn’t sure he could stomach seeing you entering the hospital, yet. Maybe he should have met you at your house and see you in a taxi. It could have been safe enough. He didn’t notice how late it was when he finally drifted off.

The clock was the first thing he checked in the morning, instead.

The most massive of fucks!

He ran out and tried to stop a taxi. The driver didn’t even slow down. Nor the second or the third. Then there was no other in sight. He ran. He ran for at least four blocks before finding an available car. He jumped in and gave the address, prompting the driver to hurry up every five seconds. When they reached the corner of your street, the taxi got stuck because of a big truck maneuvering. He paid and jumped out, running all the way to your door, but as he was around twenty yards away, he saw your head vanishing in another taxi that swiftly drove away.

Even though he knew where you were going, and that seeing you there would just break his heart, he couldn’t simply turn back after having you slip from his fingers.

He called your brother and got the name of the hospital from him, then got in another taxi and followed you.

He didn’t even try to search for you before you entered. Seeing you then would just make him say something stupid, or worse, leash out at you to try and stop you last minute. It wouldn’t be right. He had lost this battle, but he would be ready to face the aftermath. He wasn’t going to let you go. Not in a million years.

In the hospital atrium, he guessed that while he waited he could as well buy you some flowers to congratulate you. The right thing to do. He collected a little bouquet of your favorite flowers and put a couple of red roses in it as well, then went sitting in the waiting room. An elderly couple on the side smiled encouragingly at him, and a couple of other men on the left nodded to him with that air of “we’re on the same boat, pal.” He felt something shift in his chest, realizing all those people believed him your child’s dad. It felt quite good, actually. Yes, he wasn’t the one giving you your baby, but the one who was would never show up to steal you away. It was a reassuring notion.

In half an hour you quietly exited the glass-doors and froze as he stood up and stood in front of you with a meek smile and an apologetic look in his eyes.

<<I’m sorry for being such a jerk. I promise I won’t mess up again. Congratulations, love.>> he murmured, handing you the flowers.

Your eyes filled with tears of joy and you threw yourself in his arms, hugging him tight. He hugged you back energetically; careful to hold you well above the waist and pressing kisses in your hair.

<<Missed you so much…>> you whimpered in his shirt. He just held you tighter. The elderly couple congratulated the both of you as you passed and you smiled widely. From the moment he had you by his side, Tom made everything in his power to make you feel as if you were made of glass. He opened every door, took you under his arm at every flight of stairs and ordered the taxi driver to go as slow as possible and to avoid every rough-patched street he could manage.

Once home, he made you sit and prepared some tea, then reached you on the couch.

<<So…How do you feel?>>

<<I’m fine, Tom. I told you, the procedure is very simple. I barely felt it. I’m fine, stop worrying.>>

<<When will you know if…>>

<<I’ll have to give it a couple of weeks, but I have to go to regular check-ups during the first month.>>

There was a long moment of silence, in which the main issue loomed above them.

<<Tom…What made you change your mind?>>

<<I can’t stay away from you. I was jealous, I think.>>

<<Jealous?>>

<<Of the other man that…>> he pointed at your belly.

<<I’m not as good at sharing as people think I am. I realized my mistake, though. I understood that that other guy just gave you the gift you wished for. I can’t like him, but I know he won’t ever come between us. He doesn’t exist as long as your Little One has a man in flesh and bones to care for him with you. And since I’ve been such an idiot, I’d be honored if you could let me make it up to you by being that lucky one. Please, I don’t want you to face this all by yourself…>>

You couldn’t believe how much he changed.

<<You don’t have to do it because of some sense of duty. I can manage. You came at the hospital, that’s enough. Really, you don’t have to endure my pregnancy if you don’t want to.>>

<<But I do, love. I do want to be by your side and take care of you and the little bundle of joy. It’s yours, and no one else’s, to me, and that’s enough. Maybe if I care for him enough, he’ll become a little mine, too.>>

He had you in tears once again, after that last declaration, and your afternoon ended with the two of you cuddled in the couch, watching old Branagh’s movies and with him insisting on cooking dinner for you.

Since then he never missed a single check-up. He was the first one to know that you were, indeed, pregnant and he was the most excited about it. Soon after the announcement to your family, he moved in with you to keep an eye on you and make sure you didn’t make too many efforts.

He stood by your side when the morning nauseas came and through the hormonal switches of mood. He was there when you were too tired or sleepy to make dinner and when you were smiling delightedly at every millimeter your belly grew. And through all of that, he still treated you as yourself and not as the mere case of the precious baby. He brought you out on dates and made sure you enjoyed yourself every time.

****+++****+++

Your first kiss came on month three.

On month four, you carefully slept together for the first time and he was so delicate and gentle that you wanted to cry.

At the next check-up you found out it was a baby girl.

By month six, the baby’s room was ready and the two of you slept in the same bed every night.

On month seven the Battle for the Name started.

It ended on month eight, first with a tie, then with a sudden choice that had his beautiful eyes gloss over with moved tears.

For the whole month nine, Tom slept with the bag for the hospital beside his night table and one hand holding yours all night long.

He was crazed with worry and excitement as he drove you to the hospital for the delivery. Once there, his hand never left yours if not to hold the minuscule, enchanting creature wrapped in a lilac blanket.

The moment he had little Elisabeth Diana in his arms, he fell in love with her thin hair sticking up; the button nose; the tiny chubby hands and feet and her smooth, heavenly-scented skin. She was a work of art and he couldn’t stop to tell you so, over and over, as he leant down to kiss your sweaty forehead and place her in your embrace.

****+++****+++

Tom was the most wonderful father to Liz. He was her hero and she was definitely a daddy’s girl. They lived for each other and they were so close you almost felt jealous, sometimes.

When she was two, for your birthday, they gifted you a velvet box with an engagement ring in it.

You and Tom married six months later and you never regretted it for a single instant.

For Elisabeth’s fourth birthday, you gifted her the news of a little brother coming.

<<Make it like daddy, this time!>> she demanded, placing her tiny hands on your rounding bump.

<<We’ll try our best, honey. Won’t we, daddy?>>

<<Yep. He will be all like me! Happy, little love?>>

<<Yes! When can I play with him?>>

<<Oh, it will take some time. You know, when he gets out of the oven in mommy’s belly, his crust will need some time to get crisp enough to allow him to play. But when he is, you two will become the best of friends.>>

<<Really?>>

<<Yes! And you’ll love him more than anybody else! Even more than mommy and me.>>

<<No! You’re my super favorite person, daddy!>> she ran to hug Tom and hid her face in the crook of his neck. You feigned hurt.

<<Oh, the despair! Am I not your favorite, too?>> you whined dramatically, and found yourself immediately pulled into the warmest double-hug the loves of your life could give.

<<You’re my favorite, too, mommy! But daddy is _sooo_ much better at telling me bedtime stories! >>

<<Oh, I know, sweetheart. He made me fall in love with him with his storytelling, too.>> you agreed.

Luckily, little James Thomas Hiddleston turned out to be as much a mama’s boy as your daughter was a daddy’s girl.


End file.
